Fears of a Mother

This past weekend I helped with a women's conference at our church entitled "From Fear to Faith".  We had Tonya Riggle as our main speaker, Sarah Darby as our worship leader, and various breakout sessions.  I have to be honest and say I was not very excited about attending this to begin with and I fought it all the way to Saturday morning before leaving to actually go to the conference.  It was on a Saturday and I had to get up early to be there and help......let's face it.  I'm not a morning person and ESPECIALLY on Saturdays!  BUT, on the way I prayed and just asked God to reveal to me his purpose in me being there because I am a firm believer that we aren't placed in certain places and situations by accident.  He has a purpose for everything in our lives.

I was SO incredibly blessed by this conference and at the same time very convicted.  I chose the breakout session that was done by Peggy Osborne, the wife of our senior pastor Chris.  Her session was titled, "911: Whom do you call when fear visits your child?"  When I think of fear, as it pertains to a child, I usually think of things like monsters under the bed, the dark, and various animals.  I thought it very interesting when she began mentioning things like separation.  Every time I go somewhere with Cooper, the minute he gets out of the car, he grabs my hand.  I naturally shrug it off and sometimes wish he wouldn't because I am usually in the process of getting other things out of the car and/or getting Kyleigh out.  When I let go of his hand as we are walking into school to open the door sometimes he melts down.  It's always bothered me and I would usually get frustrated and tell him to straighten up.  What I realized after this conference is that he is showing his own personal fear of separation.  I have to say that taking him places now I will feel very differently when he reaches over to grab my hand......partly because of his fear and also because I will probably cry the day he lets go and wants to do things on his own lol.

A fear that I feel like I constantly struggle with is Cooper's schooling.  I fear that he will struggle and no one will take the time to help guide him through whatever he's doing.  I have had this fear since way before he was in school because I've always had I guess what they call "mother's intuition".  I have always known that he was a little slower than most kids his age but got a huge wake up call when I visited the school he now attends.  I visited the 4 year old class and couldn't believe the things they were doing in there.  I immediately felt like I was going to have a breakdown until I realized that he would be able to start school in the 3's class.  Now that the school year is almost over I'm SO glad that I did.  He has done amazingly well in this class and I have truly felt a peace not just because he has a ROCKSTAR of a teacher in Ms. Amy but also because he's getting the attention he desperately needs from someone who knows what they are doing in education, unlike me.

This really seems like I keep rambling on but I wanted to get these thoughts down so that someday I will look back and realize this was all so trivial in the grand scheme of things.  Thank you for anyone who took the time to read this!